whiny.

i cannot even lie.

every time i end a "season" (i find it very trite to refer to periods of time during your life as "seasons", but no one has invented a new word for it yet so i have to use it), i think to myself, "whew! that was the worst! at least things will never be that bad again!"

and then guess what happens? the next "season" is WORSE.
i know i'm a little dramatic, but this is the truth. at least since i decided to not follow my life plan and move to wake forest the other fall ago. don't get me wrong, i'm happy and i feel blessed, but geez. can't a girl get a break?

i think a lot of this has to do with that age old quote, "comparison is the thief of joy." (google is telling me that theodore roosevelt said this, which makes me hate myself a little more because i thought it was a proverb. some seminary student i am.) roosevelt was a genius in my book for saying this, though i'm not quite sure what he had to be upset about. he was a great hunter and he bushwacked his way through panama for that canal. and then there's that small detail of being the youngest and one of the best presidents. i'm thinking he was pretty set and had much to be joyful about. (also, lets talk about his sweet mustache. that in and of itself was an accomplishment)

i, however, am not. and its mostly because comparing has stolen my joy.
it seems like everyone i grew up with or went to college with has their s**t together-buying houses, having babies (not that i want one of those); and i'm just over here all like "hey i quit following my dream and i teach two year olds how to pee in the potty." its awful.

and i know i'm good at my job and i know i have lots to be proud of, but when you compare it to everyone else i'm a total loser. and if you know me in the least you know i cant stand losing. can NOT stand it. i'm so tired of seeing all of these people just being handed jobs, when i feel like i've been working my rear end off to be this well rounded person and its gotten me NO WHERE. what gives? yes, i know that God is in the middle of all of this, but he could say "hey"every once in a while because i'm over here stressed out and floundering.

thats all. the purpose of this post was only to whine.

oh and i'm thinking of starting a fashion blog. like a look for less type deal. because currently the thing i'm most proud of are my 5 pairs of 7 for all mankind jeans that were all really cheap.
this is my life people.
feel free to compare it and let it boost your joy.
i'll be over here potty training some kids.
living the dream.