brave.

please tell me we all saw this SNL sketch from a few months ago? because its kind of brilliant. the song in and of itself is brilliant (read the lyrics here), and then these people walking around saying what we're all thinking is brilliant. why don't we as humans actually do this?

personally, i never say anything. i never say no, and i never stand up for myself. and its kind of eating me alive lately. so maybe i'll just make like an SNL cast member and start saying whats on my mind? (just kidding i won't but its a nice thought to publish on the internet isn't it?)

no but for real, it works.

nearly a year ago, after seeing tons upon tons of posts about the it works company, i decided to try out the products. i started taking the greens because lets be real i don't eat anything green ever. i started noticing a huge difference in my energy level and just how i felt overall. this summer i added thermofit to my routine as well, and then i was completely convinced. this stuff really DOES work. i thought. and i thought. and i thought some more (all the while talking to christa bratcher who's posts inspired me to try the products in the first place). then finally on halloween i decided to take the plunge and sign up as a distributor. i haven't talked a TON about it because honestly, i don't want to be "that" person thats just constantly and always posting about it. its just not in my personality. but, i will be posting about it a little because these products are just too good to not talk about. i'm going to post a little bit about each of the products i use personally, and if you're interested in talking to me more about it works; please please please don't hesitate to call, text, message, carrier pigeon, whatever to get more info.

1. the famous wrap.

ironically, i didn't really give wrapping a try until after christmas...after i had been using other products for almost a year and technically been a distributor for three months. oops. but, the wrap isn't messing around. below are my personal wrap results. the left picture is before the wrap, middle is 24 hours after the first wrap, and the third is 24 hours after my second wrap.

2. greens and thermofit.

two scoops of greens in water or juice and drink it. boom. 8 servings of fruits and vegetables. done and done. my favorite part about the greens is how i feel overall since starting to use them.  same with thermofit. life on the road is hectic and crazy and busy and there are long days and not always the best food options around (looking at you fair season). by taking greens and thermofit, i know i'm putting at least two things in my body each day that will help boost my energy and metabolism.

3. stretch mark cream.

pretty sure this stuff is made of liquid gold or something. i'm not even finished with my first tube of it and i can notice a significant difference in my stretch marks. and, when i was at the beach earlier this month and crazy sunburned, i used stretch mark cream on my sunburn twice a day and it soothed my sunburn tremendously. i also didnt peel (the only day i peeled was a day on the road when i accidentally left my stretch mark cream at home). i'm not sure if the stretch mark cream is actually supposed to help with things like sunburn, but i'm just saying desperate times call for desperate measures and it helped me out a ton.

my website is beccafarriswraps.myitworks.com if you want to look at all of the products and learn a little more about them!

plato's closet soapbox.

DISCLAIMER: if you work for plato's closet or are a loyal customer or for some reason just really love that place, do NOT read this. it will probably make you pretty mad. 

i'm writing this as i stand in plato's closet and wait for two teenagers to go through my clothing, and for me to inevitably get angry with said teenagers. if you're my facebook friend or follow me on twitter, you've probably seen me rant about my hatred of this place. i keep giving this place second and third chances to redeem themselves, but as i'm enduring my 40 minute sentence of "in store drop off", i'm walking around and met with all of the reasons they just keep making me angry.

1. brand names (or lack thereof).
this place advertises that it sells quality brand name clothing. i'm not sure who deamed walmart, target, and kohls brands as "name brand", but they are seriously delusional. furthermore rue21, forever 21, and charlotte russe are not name brand either. don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with these places (okay except rue21 but that's another post entirely) it's just a little false to advertise name brand things when the majority of the stock comes from these places. 

i would love to judge the brand of these leggings but its been cut out. REALLY. also no one should buy leggings here when we can all go to forever 21 and buy a rainbow of leggings brand new for $5 each. also i know too many people that don't wear undies with leggings so definitely don't buy them used. 

2. quality.
in addition to the false brand advertising, platos says it only takes new or gently used clothing. however, as i'm lapping this place, most of the clothing isn't even in decent condition. items are awkwardly stretched out or stained and a lot of the shoes are in seriously gross condition. 

this pair of well loved off brand toms could be yours for the low price of $15. 

these UGGs had stains ALL over. the sole was completely worn. and they smelled. but you can buy them for $40.

 

this grey pair of UGGs were in the same condition as the ones above, but they are the tall version. so you can get them for $45.

off brand foot fungus that can be yours for $10.

3. prices.
considering the above information, most of the items in plato's should be priced at a dollar. but no. plato's offers their customers the distinct privilege of coming to their store and paying $10 for a pair of two year old forever 21 jeans that are currently priced at $9 in stores. isn't that sweet of them? i pay full price for maybe 1-3 items in my closet per year, but otherwise i'm shopping the sales hardcore. most of my gap jeans cost me $8 in store. brand new. most of my jcrew and gap tshirts cost about $15 in the store. BRAND NEW. so why am i currently staring at a pair of hello kitty brand (WHAT) jeans that cost $12? 

i feel like this tshirt perfectly captures the plato's closet demographic. and the fact that anyone would buy this tshirt in the first place. and the fact that they're trying to sell it for $5 when the original owner probably paid $1 for it. (because everything i have ever bought from wet seal has literally been $1)

hello kitty jeans that i mentioned. these jeans have an actual hello kitty pattern, too. not real life.

a pair of gap jeans that i actually tried on in store this spring. when i could have bought them new for SIX DOLLARS. literally. i'm not lying. but they're priced at $15 at plato's.

4. the inventory isn't on trend.
this is really just the result of accepting bargain "brands" that do their best to mimic the trends but usually just end up barely missing the mark.
  
5. they never take my stuff.
considering the above information, one would think that if you brought in actually gently used actual name brand clothing that's on trend, they would snatch it all up in a heartbeat. but no. my 7FAM jeans and never worn gap shirts consistently get rejected. 

this trip to plato's i took two medium size bags of shirts, pants, and scarfs. probably about 25ish items. they took 8 (i can only remember 7 items though-oops): 

a pair of 7FAM cords (paid $30 new in store, they will sell for $25ish)

a pair of joes jeans (paid $30 new in store, they will sell for $25ish)

a pair of zara jeans (paid $25 new online, they will sell for $20ish)

an old navy dress (paid $14 new in store, they will sell for $15ish)

an old navy popover shirt (paid $10 new in store, they will sell for $10ish)

an h&m linen tshirt (paid $5 new in store, they will sell for $8ish)

a gap "pure" long sleeve tshirt (paid $15 new online, they will sell for $15ish)

all of my items were worn one to two times and in excellent condition. they gave me $34.50 and (from what i saw things priced at today in store) will turn around and sell them used for about what i paid for them new. which blows my mind. 

why is this place in business? why did i see so many adults in there today? i'm not even a coupon-er or a super cheap-o; i just love a good deal, and pride myself on finding them. but its not like i try THAT hard. if a person is willing to sort thru racks and racks of used clothing that isn't even fairly priced, i don't understand why someone wouldn't be willing to sort through sale racks of brand new things. that are cheaper than the used stuff!

i will most likely continue to complain about platos closet until something changes. not that i'm all about taking a company down, but i kinda want this company to go down. unless you're trying to sell clothes to them, they really offer no benefits to the consumer that goodwill and salvation army don't offer. the only "benefit" i can see to shopping here as opposed to another thrift store is that the inventory is more tailored to people who try to be on trend. but i would be willing to bet you can find stuff at goodwill that is more on trend and in better condition if you give yourself time to look and dig.

if you're reading this and you shop there, please stop. and let me teach you about shopping sales and getting good quality items for cheap. or let me direct you to the many facebook groups of people selling their old stuff or the multiple apps of people selling their stuff. the items you'll find in these outlets, as opposed to plato's, will almost always be of better quality, condition, and price. 

name change.

when i started this blog 2ish years ago, i came up with the (incredibly cheesy) title "letting the journey begin" because at that point i was letting go of all of the post college plans i had for myself and embracing uncertainty and essentially unemployment. up until that moment, i couldn't see past "the plan" long enough to think that maybe there was something else out there for me besides children's ministry via seminary.

well now a couple of years later i'm married and have a job that i never really thought existed, let alone thought was within the realm of possibility for me to have. and honestly, i think back to when i started this thing and want to punch myself a little. letting the journey begin? really becca? could you BE anymore righteous? yes i was taking a step in the right direction of "letting go", but if you have known me for more than .5 seconds, you know that i can't let go of anything nor was i actually letting go at that point. my letting go mainly came from the fear of student loans (which i'm proud to say i still don't have).

it also isn't a coincidence that this blog name change comes in the weeks after first reading this. this article has really gotten into my brain and changed the way that i look at a lot. there have been several points in my life where i felt like if i didn't use #blessed to describe a situation or an outcome, then i was a crappy christian. (christians are really great with the peer pressure aren't they?) so in an attempt to rid my brain of christian peer pressure and buzzwords, i decided to make my blog slightly more real. i really enjoy writing, but i don't always want to write about the "heavy" stuff, and i felt like the old blog name didn't really leave a ton of room for fun…which leads me to the new name.

i've been agonizing over changing the name of my blog for a very long time. finally, i sat down at my computer two days ago and forced myself to do it. i picked up my phone and started browsing my music library and within 2 seconds came across one of my favorite songs from the musical, "wicked." if you don't know anything about wicked, then i'm sorry you're not living your life correctly (just kidding. mostly). without going into too much detail and turning this post into a summary of the best musical to ever exist, i'll just say this: elphaba is very unique and though her new friend glinda has just spent the last 5 minutes prancing around and celebrating how she's going to make elphaba popular, elphaba realizes she will never fit the mold of "that girl" and like any good musical she then sings a song about it. though i don't have green skin, i have always thought of myself as an elphaba, and very anti "that girl."
i don't know how to take a selfie.
i don't/dont know how to accessorize.
i hate washing my hair and putting on makeup.
i don't gush over my husband on social media.
i don't hashtag everything…or anything at all for that matter.
those are just the examples that pop into my mind first. and i'm not saying there is anything wrong with girls who do any or all of these things, i'm just pointing out the obvious that i am very much not like that. i never have been and i never will be. (most people would put #sorrynotsorry right there. and i'm not going to do that. because i'm not that girl. get it?)

so there you have it. hopefully this is the first step in accomplishing some of the things on this list.
(yes, its practically april and i haven't really made a dent in any of these things. whoops.)

new year, new me. NOT.

i've always been really bad at new years resolutions for the same reason i'm bad at giving things up for lent. my brain always sets out to do the opposite of what i set out to do. so therefore, i stopped attempting resolutions a long long time ago.

however, 2013 was overall a kind of terrible year. so now that we're in the first few weeks of a new calendar year, i decided i should document some of the things i would like to do at least consider doing this year. you know, a proactive approach to make this year different than last. maybe none of these things will happen, but hey. its the thought that counts right?

1. blogging.
yes, i'm aware that this post is occurring on a blog. but when i say i want to blog this year, i mean i want to blog actual content on an actual platform that isn't beccasxangaatblogspot.blogspot.com. my favorite part of each day is perusing my favorite blogs. i mostly follow fashion blogs--i love fashion, even though my daily wardrobe may not give you that impression. i also love getting good clothing for cheap. i kinda sorta pride myself on it. so that being said, i would like to have some sort of blog cataloging my clothing and deals. even if i'm the only one who reads it, it would be nice to have all of that information in one place. for no other reason than i rarely outfit repeat. which brings me to number 2..

2. confidence.
as i stated above, i have this weird thing where i refuse to outfit repeat. and when i say i don't outfit repeat, i don't outfit repeat within situations. i may wear the same outfit twice, but never to the same place or around the same people. and this outfit repeating thing is a small part of my overarching confidence issue. i'm a big big dork. and i'm very shy in new situations for much longer than i should be at this point in my life. this needs to be corrected. like, within the next week corrected considering i'm starting a new job a week from tomorrow. i need to realize and decide that the things i think "everyone" care about aren't actually even remotely close to what people care about. i think i'm the only one that cares to the extent i do about what i wear (and how often), what my makeup looks like, and the level of grease in my hair. and if more people care about those things than i know about, please let me know so i can cease working on getting over those things.

3. friendship.
this weird thing happens in your 20s: you get really lazy with your friendships. or maybe i just did. and i hate it. it wasn't something i did on purpose, but life just kind of takes over you know? i have some really great friends. i talk about it often. i could sit here and list them all of but that would take far too long. my point is, in a dream world, i could just fill all of my days with hanging out with my friends. sadly, work and jobs get in the way. so i really want to gear my mind to be more intentional with my friends. more skype and facetime. more dinner and coffee. more happy hours. more ice cream. more walks and hikes. more girl trips. more group trips. more playdates. whatever it takes to be more intentional with people. when the beatles sang "i get by with a little help from my friends," they weren't joking. i need my friends. my life is better when i get to spend time and invest in them. so if you're my friend and you don't have time for me to be intentional in our friendship, just stop talking to me and i'll get the picture…

4. marriage.
i won't go into too much detail here because well, its my marriage and not y'alls. but i will say, i want to be more intentional in my marriage as well. be a better listener, stop caring about trivial things, laugh more, etc. i'm thankful i have marty as my husband. i'm willing to bet money that up until this point he's read this post and has been brainstorming ways to help me and support me in doing these things i want to do. you're a sweet man, martin.

5. stop treating scandal like its real life.
thats actually a joke. i just needed a number 5 for my borderline OCD. #olitzforever.

george ed.

let me start this off by saying that if my dad ever gets wind of the fact that i wrote a blog about my grandad's death, he may shoot me. so there's that.



death is a funny thing isnt it?

when my grandmother died, it was a fairly quick and unexpected process. we knew she was sick, we just didnt know how sick. i was a hot mess. a train wreck to be more accurate. i cried for months. MONTHS. my mimi was just the best. i wont elaborate too much more on that sweet lady, because frankly this blog post isnt about her, but just know she was awesome. and i'm sad everyone didn't get the chance to know her (but i'm also glad i didnt have to share her with many).

but yesterday, when my precious grandad (george edwin daniels) passed away, i knew it was coming. and i'm still a train wreck.
but its different.
i'm having a really difficult time expressing my sadness, because so much of my sadness is grounded in thankfulness that we had the time that we did. when marty and i were on our honeymoon, i got a phone call telling me that the doctors had given grandad about two weeks. talk about trainwreck. i couldnt breathe. we almost left disney world-DISNEY WORLD-to come home to be with him. we ended up staying, and i prepared myself for THE goodbye upon our return. ends up though, my stubborn grandad rallied, and he made it 8 more months in this world than originally expected.

these last 8 months have been so sweet. strange, but sweet. it was hard to sit at cracker barrel on thanksgiving morning knowing it was the last time we did that. it was upsetting to go to fazolis for his birthday, knowing that would be the last birthday party. i almost cried all through christmas morning breakfast because i was so happy to sit there with him, and so sad i wouldnt ever get to again. we even celebrated my birthday early with them at hospice, and had those typical "on the night you were born" conversations. but it was the last time.

even leaving hospice after each visit was hard towards the end. you can read all the information about what "the end" looks like, but its so different for each person. you also can never really tell whats going on in someone's mind, and i'm a firm believer that in situations like my grandad's, being ready to die is an important step.

each hello went the same:
hey grandad!!
hey sweetheart, how are you doing?
i'm fine, grandad, how are YOU doing?
oh i'm fine, honey, just fine. where's marty? is he at work? (my memaw and grandad LOVE marty. LOVE him)

we would chit chat about my day with the kiddos, or try and solve the puzzle on wheel of fortune, or just sit. he would hold my hand tight, or just sit there and pat it (which drove me crazy as a kid). i never stayed too long, which i regret. i'm a weenie. a big weenie. and the reality of the situation always caught up with me and i never wanted him to see me crying.

each goodbye went the same too:
grandad, i gotta go get ready for bed. i love you.
i love you honey. you tell marty i said hi and to come see me.
of course grandad. i'll come see you soon. i love you.
i love you sweetheart.

i wish i had a recording of those i love yous. my grandad had a very distinct, strong, southern voice. even has his voice got weaker, and he was barely able to talk, it was distinct, strong, and comforting.

i could go on and on with story after story about the extremely stubborn and ornery, but also sweet and gentle and playful man that was my grandad, but i think my memaw said it best yesterday morning when marty and i got to hospice. "he was a sweet grandad, who loved you more than you can know." and she's so right. he really was a sweet grandad. and he really did love me. even in the handful of times that he yelled at me for doing something that he thought i was doing wrong, (my favorites are the time he didnt understand what seminary or children's ministry was, and when i made marty hang his own clothes up the week after we got married) i never once wondered if he really did love me. i wish i could bottle up and keep forever the look of joy in his eyes whenever my sister and i walked through the door. i wish i could just hear one more "now, honey" or "there's grandad's girl." i would give anything to get my leg patted or pinched or anything else he did to pick on us.

he was a sweet grandad. and he loved me more than i could know. and i loved him more than he could know, too.

i love you grandad, i'll come see you soon.

25 before 25

25 Things I Want Before I Turn 25.
(in no specific order)

1. lose 10 pounds
2. learn to cook
3. learn to grocery shop
4. become crafty
5. make all the cute house-y things i've pinned on pinterest
6. become creative
7. decorate my apartment all cute and adorable like i want it to be according to pinterest
8. have style like all my pinterest boards
9. have the closet to make that style happen
10. a place to live with my husband without a roommate (sorry scott)
11. a household budget that is followed
12. money in my savings account
13. both of our cars paid off
14. my gap card paid off
15. my stress level to decrease
16. my dream job to fall into my lap like its seemed to for everyone else on my facebook feed
17. the ability to stop comparing myself to everyone else
18. the sorcerer's stone so everyone i love can live forever
19. the ability to think deep thoughts again
20. a day of conversations that dont include poopy diapers
21. better discernment
22. all of my friends to move back to nashville (and for my favorite married couple -who i may or may not look up to and want to be when i grow up-to not take their cutie babies that i'm obsessed with and love more than anything to denver and leave me and marty crying)
23. steadfast faith that i rely on 11145858%
24. a deeper walk with Jesus (cheesy, i know, but i'm always failing big time)
25. maturity to not make silly lists like this the week before my birthday