i feel like i've been baited, hooked, and released so many times in the last few weeks. i'm trying so hard to be patient and trust, but boy oh boy is it difficult.
i'm just ready to grow up.
this whole last year, when i was waiting around and gearing up for this epic life changing move that didnt happen, made me feel so awkward about my life. i was in such an in between that i became restless and resentful. well, that epic life changing move didnt happen, and here i sit still feeling awkward and stuck. it seems like the solution should be easy. i have a teaching degree (and have the certification to accompany it), so why dont i just teach? and if i have to answer that question one more time, i will probably start pulling my hair out. the thought of teaching gives me an ulcer. its not my calling. dont get me wrong, i LOVED being in the classroom during all of our clinicals, internships, student teaching, and all those other 1000s of classroom hours during my time at samford.
but lets be real, i really just wanted to be those kids best friend and i thrived off of the position of half-authority we had in the classroom. i didnt have to punish anyone, i could just be their bff. and thats how i know my heart is in ministry, because my passion is relationship building/sustaining, NOT discipline and structure and all the gross stuff that goes along with being a typical classroom teacher.
i'm still not quite sure what i want my official "career" to be. i am beginning to think i always want to have my hand in several different "buckets", because i love being busy and i love having lots of variety in my life. i do know this though: the world needs to get a better grip on this whole philosophy of "you need experience so thats why we arent hiring you." how in the hee haw do you expect me to get experience if you dont give me experience?!
wenches.
in other news, i had the pleasure of spending the 22nd anniversary of miss emily grace goins' birth with her in good ole fayetteville, arkansas.
what a stinking fantastic day that was.
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| the catfish hole..and arkansan must apparently! |
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| becca's first catfish eating experience! |
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| get it....2 and 6....26! |
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| we celebrated at chuy's with coordinated outfits, my parents, and the green chile super hero man. classy. |
for the record, i feel very blessed through all of this awkward.
as franny says, "in the middle of my little mess, i forget how big i'm blessed."
